Nail the Job, Part 2: The Art of the Recruiting Meal

It's just lunch (or dinner), but how you handle your knife and fork can speak volumes about your ability to entertain potential clients. So skip the spaghetti and learn to eat right.

You are en fuego! You aced your on-campus interviews with your favorite firm, and your formal grillings at firm headquarters have been going great. Next on the agenda: lunch or dinner with an associate. Slam dunk, right? It's just an associate-not a recruiting director or a partner. He or she may well have gone to your school. Hell, it's a meal, not a "real" interview-we're all buds! All you have to do is press the flesh and down that sea bass with mango chutney. And it's not like you don't know the difference between the American and Continental methods of handling your silverware. Oh . . . you don't? Gulp.


Easy, ace. To help you dine with maximum savoir faire, we staged a mock recruiting lunch at one of New York's finest French restaurants, La Caravelle.

The players: two real-life law students (NYU 3Ls Saira Rao and Scott Winter), one real-life law firm associate (Paul Murphy, a fifth-year at New York's White & Case and a recruiting-lunch veteran), and one renowned good-manners guru (Hilka Klinkenberg, founder of Etiquette International, a consulting firm whose clients include corporate giants like American Express and Merrill Lynch). The idea? Rao and Winter acted as they would at a real recruiting lunch, and Murphy and Klinkenberg evaluated their performance.

Does etiquette matter? You bet your bonus it does. It shows you care enough about getting the job to treat the situation seriously. It shows you have the good judgment to behave in a way that's appropriate to a given situation. It shows worldliness and sophistication. And-in a geeky way-it's kind of cool.

Our posse gathered at La Caravelle on a Thursday afternoon. Over the course of an hour and a half, Rao and Winter encountered all of the usual greeting, eating, ordering, and eating challenges. Some of what Klinkenberg saw pleased her; some did not. So that you might someday be spared an embarrassing fork faux pas, here is her critique.

Lunch Begins on the Sidewalk
The interview starts before you enter the restaurant, says Klinkenberg. "First impressions are made in a nanosecond and often form the basis of lasting conclusions." Winter entered the restaurant tucking in his shirt and adjusting his belt. Primp outside.

Dress for the Room
If you're having lunch at a fancy restaurant, dress fancy. Both students erred here, says Klinkenberg. Rao wore open-toed shoes, and Winter appeared sans tie. The restaurant's dress code trumps the firm's dress code as well as your own, Klinkenberg says. If you can't get the name of the restaurant to research the appropriate attire, err on the side of caution and dress up, not down.

Eyes Ahead, Hand Out
Rao introduced herself to Murphy, offered a firm handshake, and looked him in the eye. Winter kept his left hand in his pocket and mumbled. Guess who Klinkenberg liked?

No, After You
Once the maître d' takes you to your table, wait for the associate to tell you where and when to sit. "If he doesn't indicate a position, ask, 'Shall I sit here?' " says Klinkenberg. As for timing, sit when he sits.

Stay Dry
When the waiter asked if anyone would like a cocktail, Rao ordered a diet Coke, and Winter stuck with water. Good call. Even when your host indulges, avoid the booze, says Klinkenberg. "Sometimes interviewers like to throw little curveballs. He may end up taking one sip during the course of the meal." keep still Rao carried the conversation early and got points from Klinkenberg for asking thoughtful, engaging questions. But Klinkenberg noticed that she also moved her hands a lot. It's natural to be nervous, says Klinkenberg, but constant gesturing is distracting. "It's not an indication of somebody who's a professional and in command." When you're not eating, keep your hands in your lap.

When You Do Gesture, Gesture Like You Mean It
The previous item notwithstanding, gestures can be good for emphasis. When you make one, make it big. Think Bill Clinton's jabbing fist. Try not to spill anything.

Make the Price Right
Winter ordered the Dover sole, one of the most expensive items on the menu. Without guidance ("You must try the sole"), stick to the midrange entrées, Klinkenberg says. Going high can make you look haughty and careless with money. Going low can make you look wimpy and cheap. What if your host says, "Please, order whatever you like"? Klinkenberg still wouldn't order from the top of the price range. It could be another trap, she says.

Foie What?
If you don't understand the menu , speak up. "No one will fault you for asking questions," says Klinkenberg. "They'll fault you for looking dumb or panicked or trying to fake it." What should you say? Request suggestions, as Rao did. Try something like "I'd like to have some fish today. What do you recommend?"

Napkin 101
Spread your napkin on your lap. Take the two corners farthest away from you, lift them up, and fold one-third of the napkin back toward you-over (not under) the rest of the napkin. To blot your mouth (always blot, never wipe), lift the underside of the folded third to your face, blot away, then return the napkin to its previous position. Food stains and lipstick smudges will be discreetly hidden from view. Slick, huh?

"Something to Start?"
If you'd like an appetizer, go ahead. Just keep it simple and relatively inexpensive.

Bread Management
Klinkenberg points out that a crumb-covered table can be prevented simply by tearing your rosemary roll over your bread plate. Sometimes, though, crumbs happen. "Leave them on the table," says Klinkenberg. Any waiter worth his tip will sweep up between courses.

"May We Recommend a Bottle of Shut Up?"
If you don't know a Chardonnay from a Chablis, don't worry: Your host will likely make the decision. If the waiter hands you a wine list, defer with grace. ("I'll let my host choose.") What if you happen to know lots about the Rhône varietals of the Santa Ynez Valley? "Don't grandstand," says Klinkenberg.

Continental v. American
Either style of utensil usage is acceptable. Continental: Keep knife and fork in the same hands at all times when cutting and eating. When resting, put both items down. American: Cut your food with your fork in your "bad" hand and your knife in your "good" hand, then put your knife on the plate and switch the fork to your opposite hand to eat. The unused hand remains in the lap. Mixing styles is a grave mistake.

No Fuss, No Muss
Rao ordered the soft-shell crab-a dangerous dish in Klinkenberg's book. Salads, soups, sandwiches, and garlic dishes should all be viewed with extreme prejudice, she says. "Choose something easy to eat."

Steak Too Tough?
Too bad, says Klinkenberg. "A business meal is never about the food. If it isn't quite to your liking, tough tiddlywinks."

Steak Still Mooing?
If a beef, chicken, or fish dish is dangerously underdone, politely call the waiter over and send it back. A good thing to say, according to Klinkenberg: "Excuse me, could this be a bit more well-done, please?" A bad thing to say: "Jeez, it looks like you just killed this thing!"

Sit Up, Lean In
Rao had good posture early, but she started to hunch over when the food arrived. Klinkenberg quickly spotted the cause: "She was sitting too far from the table." When eating, do as Winter did: Bring your chair as close to the table as possible, then lean forward with a straight back and raise the food to your mouth, directly over your plate.

"Plah Lerk Humpt"
If you're asked a question while chewing the porterhouse, "take your time and clear your mouth," says Klinkenberg (something Winter and Rao both did well). "When you get really good, you can tuck your food in the back of your mouth and talk. But that's not for amateurs." In the meantime, take smaller bites.

Return to Sender
How do you handle an olive pit or a piece of gristle in your mouth? "It comes out the way it went in," says Klinkenberg. Meaning: Remove olive pits with your fingers, gristle with your fork, and so on. And be discreet. Turn to one side, shield your mouth with your free hand, and put the offending item somewhere out of view on the plate. Look for the lettuce.

Napkin 201
If you need to get up, put your napkin on your chair, not the table. "For God's sake, don't make everyone look at a soiled napkin," says Klinkenberg.

Butterfingers!
So your cucumber/soy dipping sauce ends up on the associate's lap. Don't make a big deal about it, says Klinkenberg. "Apologize, offer to pay the cleaning bill and offer your napkin, or call the waiter." Whatever you do, "handle it quickly, discreetly, and with a minimum of fuss."

No Elbows
"Stable Mable, if you're able, keep your elbows off the table." (Rao was a repeat offender here.) While you're at it, keep your legs straight and under the table, too.

Pace Yourself
Winter cleaned his plate early. Rao had barely made a dent in hers well after the others had finished. "Pay attention to the speed of the meal," says Klinkenberg. If you're getting ahead of the others, slow down. If you're falling behind, ask questions to buy yourself some eating time. If you find that everyone else is done but you still have a long way to go, says Klinkenberg, "stop. You're finished, too."

Doggie Bag?
You're kidding, right? Yeah, we thought so.

What to Do When You're Done
When she was finished eating, Rao laid her knife and fork willy-nilly across her plate. Wrong. Imagine your plate is a clock. Place the silver at four o'clock.

"The Bill, Monsieur"
If the waiter puts the check in front of you, be cool. "Just leave it. It's not yours to look at," says Klinkenberg. He who invites pays.

Finish with Style
Thank-yous are always welcome, but keep them short and sweet. Klinkenberg has no advice for how to tidy up a brown nose.
Thank-yous are always welcome, but keep them short and sweet. Klinkenberg has no advice for how to tidy up a brown nose.